


Food of the Gods

by Michelle Christian (movies_michelle)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-02
Updated: 2010-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-06 23:58:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/movies_michelle/pseuds/Michelle%20Christian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere, there is a lemon chess pie with his name on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food of the Gods

**Author's Note:**

  * For [z_rayne](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=z_rayne).



> Written as thank you fic for Zoe Rayne, who had requested a food-based ritual.

Sometime during the first couple of months of team missions, Ford became Rodney's official food tester. Banquets and the breaking of bread with someone seemed to be a universal way of establishing ties with other cultures, so there was a lot of eating going on. While Rodney was prepared to take a chance every time he walked through the stargate to a strange new world, always knowing that they might come face to face with a battalion of Wraith or just some really pissed off farmers, he was not prepared to die because of a wayward marmalade.

Sheppard or Teyla might have been a more natural choice, but he didn't quite trust Sheppard to take him seriously yet, and Teyla was honorable, but an alien, so he didn't trust her to know what citrus necessarily was. He didn't really trust Ford to take him seriously, either, but he did trust him to be cowed enough by hierarchy to know what would happen to him if he let the head of science die because of a wayward bit of zest.

Because as big and wonderful as the multiverse was, Rodney McKay was certain of only one thing: somewhere, there was a lemon chess pie with his name on it.

So, the food testing. Which worked pretty well until Atlantis had nearly fallen to the Wraith (their first time, though not the first time for Atlantis itself), and Ford had gone rogue and Rodney was on his own.

He thought about Ronon taking over the tasting duties, since Ronon would eat pretty much anything put in front of him, but there were two problems with this: he, like Teyla, was an alien, and he really would eat anything put in front of him. All of it. So, not exactly helpful if Rodney was going to get to eat anything. Which left him with John.

It wasn't as if Rodney didn't trust Sheppard at this point. Sure Sheppard might occasionally threaten him with a lemon, but Rodney knew he'd never actually use it. (It became especially clear when it was shown that Sheppard had been using a wax lemon the entire time out of some fake fruit display. "See," Sheppard had said. "It wasn't even loaded!")

The thing was, he soon came to realize that there was a different reason not to trust Sheppard. Take their treaty signing/all-you-can-eat buffet they were currently attending.

It was a luscious vegetarian banquet, and there were plenty of wonderful dishes laid out. So, as usual, he loaded up his plate and handed it to Sheppard to get the yay or nay.

First, Sheppard picked up one of the small, round berries and sucked it slowly between his lips before biting into it. After a moment, he picked up another one, this time dipping it into the creamy topping that had looked so tempting. This time, Sheppard licked at the berry slowly, carefully testing to see if there was anything potentially lethal contained in the sauce. He licked again, with a thoughtful look on his face.

Rodney silently encouraged this level of thoroughness, never taking his eyes off of Sheppard's face. Sheppard, on the other hand, looked straight ahead, smiling across the tent at the chieftain's daughter.

"Kirk," Rodney grumbled at him.

Sheppard looked at him from the corner of his eye, and picked up one of the cucumber-like things next. "Just trying to be friendly, McKay," Sheppard said casually, licking some wayward sauce off the side of the--vegetable? "We are trying to set up relations with these people," he pointed out, and put the end of the...object in his mouth, before nibbling on the end.

Rodney heard what sounded like a whimper, and he would deny it came from him. Didn't matter that Ronon, sitting on his other side, gave a snort, obviously having heard.

The rest of the plate went on that way. Sheppard sampled all of the fruit, slowly and carefully, testing each of them alone, and then with the various sauces. He licked and nibbled and sucked and God, Rodney was glad a lot of the people liked to eat sitting on the ground, as usually that meant really large pillows he could arrange as needed in his lap.

Finally, with a smile, Sheppard called the plate safe and handed it over before turning to discuss something with Teyla.

Ronon leaned over as Rodney dug into his plate.

"You know, I've been traveling with you for nearly two years, and he hasn't found anything that would kill you yet," he pointed out.

"Better safe than sorry," Rodney said around a sauce-covered berry.


End file.
